David Pitchford of Key West filed a prayer for relief in federal court in Miami last week against Wikileaks and Julian Assange for “NEGLIGENCE, INTENTIONAL and NEGLEGENT INFFLICTION of EMOTIONAL DISTRESS” (sic). Between the lack of spellcheck and the lack of professional counsel, Pitchford is going to be facing an uphill battle moving forward with his suit. Pitchford allegedly sued Osama bin Laden previously for similar acts.
As grounds for relief, Pitchford averred that he suffered the following injuries as a result of the Defendant’s acts (misspellings in the original):
A. A worsening of Plaintiffs hyper tention;
B. A worsening of Plaintiffs depression;
C. A worsenig of Plaintiff’s Stress;
D. Living in constant fear of being stricken by another heart attack and or stroke as a result of the foregoing;
E. In fear of being on the brink of Nucliar WAR
Nick Kam 